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Is anybody out there? Is anybody out there?Hello out there! Hello? (echo, echo, echo�) Is anyone reading this besides the weathergeek (who commented on one of my entries in his journal), sarahjanet (who left me a note), and princessgwyn (who listed me as a favourite)? Am I writing for just an audience of three friends? Does anybody care if I update? I know I have become hooked on reading online journals. Call me an addict if you like. I check each one up to 10 times a day. I start with my friend's journals, then some acquaintances, searching for updates, for new information. Then on to Dancing Brave who has got to be about the funniest person ever (she also has years worth of entries and they're long so I can always find something of hers to read). Then if none of them have updated I search through their favourites, and their favourite's favourites. I love reading new entries, finding out what's new in my friend's lives, what's on their minds. I acquire an altered picture of them, one with deeper insight into their thoughts and motivations. Really, I get to know my friends just that little bit better in the time it takes to read their entries. That rush of new discovery is what is so addictive. Then there's the addiction to my own journal. I'm a huge sucker for feedback. Being listed as a favourite is a rush of positive feedback. No one wants to be associated with something they don't like and I'm grateful that my friends are willing to list me, brand new to this as I am. Sarahjanet has been a huge support to me. She started with "read mine if you want", then went to "you could try it", then "your first entry is really good, I hope you keep writing", then a glowing review of an entry that I myself thought was fairly well written. She's just like that, sharing her enthusiasm and encouragement. I'm nervous about Bear reading it, and at the same time I don't understand why he hasn't. He's known about it for about 2 weeks now but hasn't read. Why not? I know that if he had one and he said it was ok to read then I would be reading it in the blink of an eye. It would make me insane with curiosity to know that all of that information was there and not in my brain immediately. He asked if it was ok to read and I said yes but to tell me when he read it and I've heard nothing yet. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I decided to try online journaling, to see if I could write on a regular basis and see if it helped me to sort out my thoughts. So far yes and yes. I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable having it out there for the world to read, without me knowing. Although really I'm not so conceited as to think that many do. So the question is: do I lock it or leave it unlocked? Do I control who gets to see what I think about what? Will I write more freely if I know who is reading? I know that I edit at least to some degree, to protect others and to protect myself. I'm scared that someone will take my information and abuse it. I'm still scared of the judgement that inevitably comes when you open yourself up. So tell me if you're reading. What do you think? Why do you read? Do you like my entries? Are they too long? Too whiney? Do I know you? Do you have a journal of your own? Do you think I should lock mine? Am I just far too neurotic and ask too many questions? My 'notes' function is turned on and my 'contact me' address works, you can use either of these. Please? 2003-10-17 || 12:35 p.m. |
