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The Pancake Pirate Rides Again Roscoe the Brachiating Orang-utan is leaving tomorrow. For over 3 years now he has been a solid part of my life; something stable and constant, and tomorrow he moves to the fabled land of �warmer-than-here�. I�m starting to hate the land of �warmer-than-here� for many reasons:1. It�s warmer than here 2. It has Smelly, who I love and miss. 3. It has Plaid and Gee, who are fun. 4. It�s stealing Roscoe. 5. It�s warmer than here. Roscoe was my first roommate when I moved out of my parents place for good. He taught me how to find a place, what to look at when you�re looking for an apartment and a bit about living with a roommate. Roscoe and I got to know each other really well in the first few months of living together. We stayed up much too late, way too often, until I could honestly say that he knew me better than anyone else did. We both seemed to have the same strategy for getting to know someone new and it was interesting to see this in action. He had all of the furniture, although honestly parts of our apartment were just silly from lack of furniture. We had lawn chairs at the kitchen table that he was scared to sit in, our tv was so old it had 12 push button channels, and most of the apartment echoed, despite being carpeted. We left both apartment and house without a mark, not a single picture was hung. The only records of our passing were depleted bank accounts and a wrecked couch in the garage. We came up with an interesting way to define our living-togetherness. We didn�t just have a friendship because we were closer than that but we didn�t have a relationship because that implied, as my grandma put it, �living in carnal sin.� Although Roscoe was like a brother to me, we didn�t have the blood bond or the brother-sister squeamishness. Roscoe and I had a roommateship and together we created the RoomMateShip Little Foot (Roscoe is roughly 5�10� and has (if I remember correctly) size 7 feet. I�m 5�5� and I wear boys size 4.) The R.M.S. Littlefoot set sail in November 2000 manned (and womanned) by the Pancake Pirate (Roscoe) and Strip the First Mate (believe me the original name was worse). After a few bumps Roscoe got together with Smelly, which was great because I got along really well with her and about 6 months later Bear and I got together, which was great because Roscoe and Bear get along (unlike orang-utans and bears in the wild). Roscoe was the first person to officially know that Bear and I were together. Soon our mighty crew was joined by Captain Cleavage (Smelly) and Peg-leg Pete (Bear). At that point the RoomMateShip Littlefoot sailed away to cheaper waters. I�m sure that we managed to rent that cute little house because the couple that owned the house thought we were a couple just starting out. When I moved out six months later they were very concerned that Roscoe and I had had a terrible break-up (not quite). Really both of us needed to get out of there because the house was making us sick, but how do you tell your landlord that the house had given you both the worst cases of bronchitis you have ever had in your lives. Roscoe was not only my roommate, my friend, and my big/little brother, he was also my coach. Smelly and I played on the same team that Roscoe and Bear helped out with. After every game/practice we would all come home for hot chocolate and talk through the game. Roscoe would give advice and his take on the game and try his best to explain how we could improve without crushing our fragile confidence. When I moved out I made it very clear that the RoomMateShip had not sunk, but had just expanded so that bow and stern were a few blocks apart. And now Roscoe is moving to be with Smelly, not that I blame him, and fully half of the R.M.S. Littlefoot is over a province away - as the crow flies: 817 km � that�s quite the stretch for a tiny boat. We�ll just have to build and expand to cover all of BC and half of Alberta, including mountains, prairies, forests, foothills and a bit of the ocean. My favourite memories of Roscoe include: - hanging out in the house with a mug of hot chocolate, trying to warm up after an outdoor hockey practice - the time Roscoe was in the bathroom trying to put on his contacts and dropped his contacts case down the drain: he peered down and said calmly, �Well that didn�t go as planned.� - hanging out watching Slapshot or old Jackie Chan movies - �Cur-thes!� (curses with a lisp) - his huge strong hugs - Roscoe leaping around the corner with a spatula held is his teeth and growling, �Arrrrr. Pancake Pirate!� Roscoe was there for me when I needed him most and I will always be grateful to him for that. I�ll miss you, Roscoe, my Pancake Pirate. You�ll always be my roommate in my heart. And remember... �Oook.�
2004-02-25 || 8:48 a.m. |
