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Hereditary Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.Mom: Aww you made me lose my scab. Me: I what? Mom: My scab! You made me lose it! Me (dryly): I made you lose your scab. Mom: Yeah. Me: What? Mom: Well, it wasn't really attached anymore. Me: Eeeeeww! Mom: It fell off. Me: So you were just carrying it around? Mom: Well, I didn't want to leave it on the rug. Me: Eeeeewww. Mom: I wasn't carrying it on my hand. I was carrying it on a newspaper. Me: Eeeeeeewwww. Mom: Don't you want to know how I got it? Me: No. Mom: It's a really good story� Me: I don't want to hear any more about your scab� Mom: Okay, so I was walking in the alley� Me: (has pulled the phone away from ear) Mom: �. And wrecked my purse! � Hello? Me: Hello? Mom: I'm done now; you can come back. Me: I told you I didn't want to hear it. Mom: But it was a really good story! And now my purse is all disgusting. Me: Great! Mom: I'm doing an experiment on them. Me: On who? Mom: On my scabs! Me: On who? Mom: I covered the big one with a Band-Aid and left the little one uncovered. Me: And what are you trying to prove? That big cuts should be covered? Mom: No I'm trying to see if the one covered with Band-Aid will heal faster than the one without. Me: But Mom, they're different. Mom: No they're not. I told you, I got them both when I fell on my purse. Me: They're different sizes, you covered the big one� Mom: Don't you want to know what the result was? Me: But Mom, there are too many variables� Mom: The little one is dry and crusty and the big one is wet. Me: Eeeewwww. Mom, you covered the larger cut�. Mom: Guess which one fell off? Me: Did you have brownies tonight? Mom: No, but � your Dad gave me TWO candies. Me: (laughs) Mom: So today I was at the gym doing laps around the exercise equipment� Me: What? Don't you use the equipment? Mom: �and I passed this woman who told me that you burn 6 calories a lap and I almost quit then and there. Me: And� Mom: She said laugh, not lap. Me: Yeah, the head dude at work's name is Aushu and one of the new Chinese profs came to see the head dude's secretary and asked, "Where is Aushu?" and she thought his English was just poor and she gave him directions to the washroom. The poor man couldn't figure out why she would send him to see the associate chair in the bathroom. Mom: (laughs) Me: The crazy is hereditary. Mom: Yup, got it from my kids. click. 2004-06-03 || 9:11 p.m. |
