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My Head is Ringing This entry was actually written on February 28th, but I didn't post it (for obvious reasons). Since our anniversary is this weekend I thought something along these lines would be appropriate. I should also point out that those on my notify list will be getting wedding-y details that the rest of you are missing out on. So if you're interested, join my notify list (not you Bear!)_____________________________________________ Today was an unusual day. I did something today that I have never done before in my life. I knew that Bear and I were rapidly progressing in our relationship. We had been joking about the trouble that Bear would have in buying me a ring, since neither of us knows what I would like, I am pretty picky about things like jewelry, and I don't even know my own ring size. We had a conversation not long ago in which I mentioned that if he would like to we could go to some jewelry stores and I would show him which rings I liked, never really imagining that this would happen. On Friday night Bear was strangely quiet while driving home from my parents. Eventually he turned to me and said, "Were you serious about going ring shopping with me?" Surprised, I could only nod. He asked, "Would you like to go?" Wow. Bear thought that it was funny that I, who had been engaged before, was more worked up and nervous about this than he was. This situation, however, is far more real than my previous engagement ever was. A ring chosen with this man is a ring that I will be wearing for the rest of my life. The last ring was one I wore because I was too young to realize that I was allowed to say "No." First we went to Bonnie Doon and in a fit of nerves we walked right past the store to the end of the mall then had to go back to find it. I made Bear promise to do the talking since I didn't want it to seem like I was dragging him in there. Neither of us really knew what to expect, if it was common for a couple to go in before getting engaged and pick a ring or if we were just odd in not knowing what we wanted. We both endured the panic of unanticipated questions, such as: "Have you set a date yet?" (DATE? Has he actually proposed yet?) "Have you thought about what you would like for wedding bands?" (Augh! We're having enough trouble with this ring!) And the grinning "Congratulations" (To which I mentally replied, "On what? Getting up the guts to come to a store and look at a ring to potentially buy at some as-yet-undetermined point in time?") All of these things I hadn't yet looked far enough ahead to see. I have had a good look at married life with Bear, just not at all the stages that come in between. I had no idea there were so many stages between dating and engaged. The whole experience made me realize how little of a 'girly girl' I am. "We dunno nothin'", as Bear succinctly put it. We were asked what style we wanted (dunno), did we want a solitaire (dunno, a what?), how many carats (mmm, veggies), what kind of work do you do (field tech, apparently this is still how I see myself, not a secretary). White gold, yellow gold, rose gold, silver, platinum�? Simple and solid with nothing sticking up, please. It was kind of nice that we went in with so few preconceptions; it was really a discovery process for both of us, much like the beginning of our relationship was. It was such a strange thing to think that one day I will have a diamond ring. This seems like such an extravagance to me: a diamond ring! I think I just might be scared to actually wear it. I lost my (admittedly cheap) engagement ring once before and I remember how traumatic that was. How much more traumatic would it be to lose the perfect ring from Bear, a ring intrinsically worth far more than its monetary value. This is why I can never have nice things: I'm both clumsy and paranoid! I tried on ring after ring, all on my pinky because my fingers are so pudgy that the rings only went to the knuckle on my ring finger. I also had a brief internal debate as to whether to try them on my right or left hand. What is the etiquette of such a situation? Since I already have a ring on my right, I tried them on the pinky of my left. We discovered that rings with many diamonds, or huge rocks, just don't look good on me at all. They tended to overpower me, so that all you could see was a sparkly ring, and not the person wearing the ring. We realized that we both have really similar taste in ring styles, which really shouldn't have surprised me. A couple will tend to have similar preferences, if they like themselves and like each other, of course. We found that most of the rings that best suited me, the ones that we were both drawn to, had both white and yellow gold, a single diamond in the center and much of a curve to them. Both had matching wedding bands that hugged the strange curves. The shape and color of the metal itself was the important thing, the stone just a point for the design to focus around. Much like the strength and structure of our relationship, which curves around and shelters the nexus of our love. (Wow, that was a whole lot of cheese in one sentence). And that's what a ring is really, it's a symbol of the relationship that it embodies. Some need an expensive ring loaded with diamonds for others to coo and gasp over. Some need a wide weighty ring to reassure them of their worth. We apparently need a different, quieter style of ring, not traditional or flashy or pricey, but made up of interesting twined colors, with unexpected curves, unanticipated beauty, and a band of strength to fit our unique shape. 2004-10-30 || 3:15 p.m. |
